It’s 10:41 a.m. and all is not well. The con of the century has just been pulled on the greatest country on Earth. Americans have entrusted our leadership to a man who wouldn’t pass the security clearance his body guards had to pass. His path to the White House went through Chicago, a city I hold close to my heart but also hold disgust towards. I have no doubt political checks were post dated to lowlifes in the filthy Chicago political machine the last 20 years. On January 21^st they’re gonna be cashed, and Americans will pay dearly. What’s done is done. We can’t do anything about that besides hand-wring. And I hate hand-wringers. I’m a conservationist and that’s a huge waste of energy. We need to take action.

Hopefully conservatism has now hit rock bottom. We can only move up, baby. We need to make a lot of changes and, like it or not, a big part of that is image. What image does the average swing voter have of conservatives? James Dobson. Tom Delay. Rush. Abortion clinic bombers. Gay bashers. Hypocrisy. The comb-over. Some of those things are good, some are bad. Some are misunderstood representations of conservatism and some are parts of conservatism that need to go away. We need the youth. And by youth I mean under 40.

Young people are attracted to liberalism because they think it means freedom. The rest of us know nothing could be farther from the truth. I suspect the Obama bubble will inevitably burst. Hopefully before 2012. When he fails to deliver rainbows and unicorns the “Obama Youth” will be sorely disappointed. They’ll be a little older, life will have kicked them in the butt a little bit and they’ll be looking for the real American Dream. And we need to be there to help them find it. I know all this is true because I used to be that way. There just wasn’t an Obama in my day. Instead of having my delusions shattered by an empty suit I was rudely awoken on 9/11, like a lot of people.

So where do we start? I say anywhere. Voting and bumper stickers aren’t cutting it. After the election I wrote a sappy letter to John McCain. I hope he reads it someday. Getting to “know him” during his campaign really changed the way I think about being an American and being a human being. His campaign is over, but I see no reason for “Country First” to stop. I think those two words really sum it up. There are big and small ways to put Country First on a regular basis. The new bumper sticker should be on our bathroom mirrors and it should say, “What have you done to advance conservatism today?” That’s what I’m trying to do, and if…oh, say a few million people will join me we can save America. I love this country and I think it’s worth saving. Who’s with me? Let’s make John McCain proud. Let’s make Abraham Lincoln proud. Let’s take back America before it’s too late.

Bill Ayers isn’t the only guy from the neighborhood giving headaches to the Obama campaign. Winning the award for the underreported story of the season is Obama’s longtime friendship and glowing accolades given at a going away party for Rashid Khalidi in 2003.

Who’s Rashid Khalidi? His resume is lengthy. Columbia University Professor (you know, the one that gave Achmadinejad a platform to speak a couple years ago), Director of the MEI (Middle East Institute) at Columbia where he presides over a $300,000 annual grant from the federal government, board member , trustee, adviser and yakkety-yak of countless pro-Palestine organizations (I resent the fact that Microsoft works assumes I want to capitalize Palestine… and Microsoft). He’s basically the go-to scholar for anti-Israel, elites the world over. But here’s the shining star in his resume, while a professor in Beirut in the 70s he often spoke to reporters on behalf of Yasser Arafat, to whom his 1986 book was dedicated. Yes, he was the press secretary of a recognized terrorist group (PLO). That was before he was just another guy in Barack Obama’s neighborhood.

On April 10, 2008 the LA Times published an article entitled Allies of Palestinians see a friend in Barack Obama. The LA Times claims to have a video of Obama paying tribute to Khalidi at a farewell dinner before he left for his new job at Columbia. He reminisces about his many talks with Khalidi, where Obama said these talks served as, “consistent reminders to me of my own blind spots and my own biases… It’s for that reason that I’m hoping that, for many years to come, we continue that conversation. The article also claims the Khalidi’s hosted a 2000 fundraiser for Obama.

Maybe it was a block party because Bill Ayers is said to have paid tribute to Khalidi as well. The McCain campaign released a statement today requesting the tape be released. The LA Times claims they are refusing to release the tape because it was “provided by a confidential source who did so on the condition that we not release it.” Fine. If you don’t protect your sources you won’t have many sources.

The point is this. Obama isn’t from Chicago. He moved to Chicago for the exact purpose of launching a political career. In one of his 842 memoirs he states that he chose his friends carefully. Yet, when the opposition takes a closer look at his choice in friends we’re grasping at straws. (Speaking of straws, I’ve never once mentioned Obama’s admitted cocaine use… oops). We’re big meanies panicking at impending defeat.

I’m panicking alright. I’m panicking because if the polls are correct we are about to elect an Anti-Israel, Socialist loving, inexperienced, yahoo with a messiah complex. The economy, terrorism, a war with victory in sight, taxes, his unthinkable stance on the Born Alive Act, the White Sox. He’s in far out cuckoo town on… everything. America is facing huge challenges and this is no time to be playing games and high time TO panic.

Assuming the polls are correct (they rarely are) the probability is that Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. (Someone hide the knives before I gut myself) History will be made.

Obama will be the first black President. Despite what I’m told about racism being rampant, if you look back 50 years or so we’ve made amazing progress. While we’re patting ourselves on the back we should also note that the fact that slavery and segregation are part of our history at all is… disgusting.

But Obama’s race isn’t what makes him so special. His super-cool friends are what makes him special. Obama’s political career was catapulted with the help of his unrepentant domestic terrorist friend. (Yes, liberals, I know you’re sick of us talking about Bill Ayers. But it’s just so unbelievable we have to keep saying it out loud to wrap our heads around this absolutely Captain Insano reality).

Tony Rezko thinks Obama’s special too. Unfortunately the convicted felon can’t pull the lever for his pal. He’s too busy down at the prosecutor’s office rolling over on all his other friends.

Reverend Jeremiah Wright can vote for Obama though. That is if he can crawl out from underneath that bus by election day. You remember him. He was Obama’s spiritual mentor for over 20 years. He led Obama to Christ. Officiated his marriage to Michelle and baptized their daughters. Obama attended his church for over 20 years and never heard a peep about God damning America, especially the first Sunday after 9/11. He never heard that the government created AIDS to kill black people. He never heard the government knew about the Pearl Harbor attack before it happened. He never heard the government injected black men with syphilis and the CIA put Nelson Mandela in prison… in South Africa. (Boy, this government guy is a BUSY boy) Miracle Ear are you listening? Apparantly our next President can’t hear things that might be harmful to his political aspirations later on.

Frank Raines must be a really good friend to Obama. Despite the fact that he’s an integral part of the sub-prime mortgage crisis, he’s still an economic adviser to Obama. I said ECONOMIC adviser. For reals. It’d be funny ‘cept it’s true.

Louis Farrakhan wants to be Obama’s friend. I’d want to be his friend too if I seriously believed he was the Messiah. (No, this guys serious! Seriously.)

All the nuts at ACORN are friends of Obama’s too. As are every dead person and felon whose social security number the can get their hands on.

There is one demographic group that AREN’T friends of Obama’s. Abortion survivors. You know, the children born alive despite the attempt at an abortion at 37 weeks gestation. Obama went out of his way to make sure they’re left to die so the people trying to abort them wouldn’t feel bad. I’ve never been aborted, but I bet that feels bad too. Doesn’t matter, they can’t vote… ever… they’re dead.

Maybe I should reconsider. I mean a domestic terrorist, a crazy pants hateful old pastor emeritus, Louis Farrakhan and countless community organizers hellbent on voter fraud can’t be wrong. Not to mention all the celebrities. They must be really smart because no one gets rich just for being pretty.

Yes, I must be the crazy one.