Assuming the polls are correct (they rarely are) the probability is that Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. (Someone hide the knives before I gut myself) History will be made.
Obama will be the first black President. Despite what I’m told about racism being rampant, if you look back 50 years or so we’ve made amazing progress. While we’re patting ourselves on the back we should also note that the fact that slavery and segregation are part of our history at all is… disgusting.
But Obama’s race isn’t what makes him so special. His super-cool friends are what makes him special. Obama’s political career was catapulted with the help of his unrepentant domestic terrorist friend. (Yes, liberals, I know you’re sick of us talking about Bill Ayers. But it’s just so unbelievable we have to keep saying it out loud to wrap our heads around this absolutely Captain Insano reality).
Tony Rezko thinks Obama’s special too. Unfortunately the convicted felon can’t pull the lever for his pal. He’s too busy down at the prosecutor’s office rolling over on all his other friends.
Reverend Jeremiah Wright can vote for Obama though. That is if he can crawl out from underneath that bus by election day. You remember him. He was Obama’s spiritual mentor for over 20 years. He led Obama to Christ. Officiated his marriage to Michelle and baptized their daughters. Obama attended his church for over 20 years and never heard a peep about God damning America, especially the first Sunday after 9/11. He never heard that the government created AIDS to kill black people. He never heard the government knew about the Pearl Harbor attack before it happened. He never heard the government injected black men with syphilis and the CIA put Nelson Mandela in prison… in South Africa. (Boy, this government guy is a BUSY boy) Miracle Ear are you listening? Apparantly our next President can’t hear things that might be harmful to his political aspirations later on.
Frank Raines must be a really good friend to Obama. Despite the fact that he’s an integral part of the sub-prime mortgage crisis, he’s still an economic adviser to Obama. I said ECONOMIC adviser. For reals. It’d be funny ‘cept it’s true.
Louis Farrakhan wants to be Obama’s friend. I’d want to be his friend too if I seriously believed he was the Messiah. (No, this guys serious! Seriously.)
All the nuts at ACORN are friends of Obama’s too. As are every dead person and felon whose social security number the can get their hands on.
There is one demographic group that AREN’T friends of Obama’s. Abortion survivors. You know, the children born alive despite the attempt at an abortion at 37 weeks gestation. Obama went out of his way to make sure they’re left to die so the people trying to abort them wouldn’t feel bad. I’ve never been aborted, but I bet that feels bad too. Doesn’t matter, they can’t vote… ever… they’re dead.
Maybe I should reconsider. I mean a domestic terrorist, a crazy pants hateful old pastor emeritus, Louis Farrakhan and countless community organizers hellbent on voter fraud can’t be wrong. Not to mention all the celebrities. They must be really smart because no one gets rich just for being pretty.
Yes, I must be the crazy one.